Picking Up The Pieces

Yesterday, Mike, Megan and I went to the house to pack up some things.  For me, it was the first time seeing it other than pictures Mike took.  I am glad that I saw the pictures first because I do think that it softened the blow a little.  It took a bit for me to be able to actually leave the truck and walk into the house and when I did, I didn't wander around.  I stuck to the area that I knew was the least damaged...my magic room.  It was a bit disturbing walking into the least damaged area as there was soot and insulation everywhere.  The fire damage itself was contained to the laundry room but the soot was every where in the house and while its not fire damage it is smoke damage and seeing your home covered in soot is quite shocking.  At least it was to me.  After being there a bit I got better but the initial shock was overwhelming. Megan boxed up her room since she left today to go back to North Dakota and I packed up my magic room because Miek didn't want to even begin to do that.  He knows how much money I have invested in there and how much my things mean to me so he didn't want to take the chance of damaging them. Mike and our friend Joey packed up some things from the rest of the house, like pictures from the wall and photo albums...things that we worry about could be damaged if someone came in and wanted to cause trouble.  We were there 4 hours and I got hte magic room done and Megan got her room done.  Mike and Joey will be taking the boxes into storage until we are able to find a rental.  I kept a few things with me, not many, to help me feel more comfortable.  Kind of  "Home in a Box", like a security blanket.  Sounds a little crazy I know, but I have lost alot and while I dont have alot of room here at the hotel, I wanted just a few items with me for comfort, I guess.  We will be slowly going through the rest of the house to see what is salvagable and pack it up.  There are some things that will wash up pretty well, others will not, so at least we will still be able to have some smaller things with us to help us feel more at home whereever we end up.

Seeing the house really helped things become more real.  I mean, I've known that it was real but actually seeing the damage really set it in stone.  I actually needed that, even as hard as it was.  The truth is, the damage could have been so much worse and while seeing my home covered in soot and seeing my non existant laundry room was difficult, it was good for me to see that we were lucky.  I've been reminding myself of that on and off, and I do honestly believe it, but it's still hard to take sometimes.

We also rode around town looking for houses to rent since the relocator is having a few problems but she is out of state and doing the best she can.  I know we will be in another house when we are meant to and until then, we will be live in the hotel.  I am trying to look at the fire as an eraser to we can start with a clean slate.  Not that things were bad, because they weren't, but they can always be better and apparently now it is time for a change in our lives.  A chance for things to be better.