Home

Mike met with the large claims adjuster and a general contractor yesterday and they went over the house with a fine tooth comb. They will be fixing the house as the structure is sound but they will be gutting the entire inside of the house. It has to be completely rewired as the lightening stuck a light which fried the entire wiring in the house and it set of the main circuit breaker on the pole outside of the house, losing electricity to our neighbors. Not that they were complaining or anything...it was our first neighbors who saw and reported the fire in the first place. While I'm excited that I get a completely remodeled house, it’s just not going to be home. I wasn't ready to give it up, it was thrust upon me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad or even irritated. Just a bit sad. When you get a new house, it is usually because you are ready to move for one reason or another. When you are ready to move, you are ready for new surroundings and you give a new house a chance to become a home. It's different when you were happy with your home. You spend 11 years in a house making it your home. You become accustomed to everything about it. You know it's quirks inside and out and you accept those quirks because it is your home. Your safe haven. Your get away for the crazies. Then something like this happens and even though you are grateful that it wasn't worse and that your family is ok....you still mourn the loss of your home. It's like losing a friend in a way. No matter where we go, it's not going to be home. It will be eventually when we give it time, but what if we weren't ready? How do you allow yourself to love a new place...one that's no where close to being started....and allow it to become home? Like I said before, it's different when you are ready but when a catastrophe like this hits, you have no choice. You have to mourn your beloved house like an old friend and learn to love the new place. It's never gong to be the same again. Some people I have been talking to just don’t understand how difficult it is losing a home. I hear "you should be happy that it wasn't worse", well I am. I really am, but that doesn't mean that losing your home is an easy thing to do.  Especially when you lose your belongings.  Only people who have lost their home in such a manner can relate.  Sure others can be sympathetic, but they don’t truly understand.  You can’t unless you have been through it.  When you choose to move into a new house, you are able to take your belongings so when you reach your new home, some of those elements help to create that homey feeling.  But when you lose most of your belongings, you don’t have that option.  You have to get used to everything all over again.  While I am excited to be able to have a new house, essentially, it’s not going to be nearly the same….not just the house but my belongings.  My surroundings.  My loved ones that I lost that contributed to making my house a home.  It’s ALL different.  It’s an adjustment and I know that and I know I will come through just fine.  We all will, but it still disrupts your normality.  Change can be difficult to take, especially for those of us who take comfort in routine.  Some people thrive on it…some of us don’t.  It’s like turning our world upside down and it takes awhile for us to get our balance again.  While it can be done, it just takes extra time.  But, it has only been a week tomorrow since the fire so there is still time for the adjustments.  All I can do is to keep trying to look on the bright side and count my blessings.  Believe it or not, I have been doing it, but I also need to mourn the loss of my home, my belongings, and the lost feathered and furred friends.

The relocation specialist is looking for a place for us to live until our house is ready.  We want to stay in Bennett so Paige can stay in the same school district.  She hasn’t found anything yet.  Mike did tell her we need a place that will allow our pets but she doesn’t know what kind of pets that we have.  I hope we don’t have a problem finding a place.  I really want all of use together as soon as we can be.

Speaking of the feathers and furs, I do have an update.  I woke up in the middle of the night last night and noticed that Indy had eaten most of his food and had gotten into the trash.  While I normally hate it when he gets into the trash, this is a sure fire clue that he is feeling better.  He is finally acting normal.  He still has a bit of a cough but it’s not bad.  Of course, I visited the other butts today and Salem is beginning to eat a little more and venture out of the cubby that he’s been hiding in.  Of course, he’s all lovey dovey when we visit him.  Sisco is eating a little more as well and there is one person there that she absolutely loves and we are so happy.  When I was in her pen yesterday Sisco was going between me and her the whole time so she’s getting lovin’s while she’s in there.  Merlin has a great appetite.  We are trying to switch his food to something healthier and the little bugger won’t hear of it.  He IS eating the food he is used to and fruits so at least he is eating well enough to gain some of his weight back.  His eyes are completely open now as well.  His breathing today does have me a bit worried but I do have a tendency to over worry.  He sounds like when you have a really bad cold and you can hear the mucus moving around in your chest.  It’s only been 6 days and it takes time to recover from smoke inhalation but I still worry. 

I can’t wait until we are ALL together in our temporary house since it will be awhile until our house is complete.  Only when we are all together, skin, feathers and furs, can we begin to heal and rebuild a home.